Sexual fantasy



A sexual fantasy, also called an erotic fantasy, is a deliberate fantasy or pattern of thoughts with the goal of creating or enhancing sexual feelings; it is mental imagery that an individual considers erotic. The makeup and purpose of fantasies vary: they can be long, drawn-out stories or quick mental flashes of sexual imagery; their purposes range from sexual motivations, such as sexual arousal and reaching orgasm, to simply passing time or helping a person fall asleep. Sexual fantasies are nearly universally experienced and can be positive, negative, or both. A person may not wish to enact their sexual fantasies in real life; some would find their fantasies completely unacceptable &mdash; or physically impossible &mdash; were they to be transposed into real life.

Content and uses of fantasy
The content and goal of a sexual fantasy vary greatly between individuals and are subject to personal desires. These fantasies range from the mundane to the bizarre, and a person may have zero to full desire to carry out an imagined act; people often use fantasy to help plan out future sexual encounters. Fantasies occur in all individuals and at any time of the day, although it has been suggested that fantasies are more common among frequent daydreamers. Fantasies are frequently used use them to escape real-life sexual restraints and to imagine dangerous or illegal scenarios, such as rape, castration, or kidnapping. They allow people to imagine themselves in roles they do not normally have, such as power, innocence, and guilt. Fantasies present enormous influence over sexual behaviour (hence the phrase "the brain is the largest sex organ"), and can be the sole cause of an orgasm. While there are several common themes in fantasies, any object or act can be eroticized.

Sexual fantasy is frequent during masturbation, although this is more true for men than for women.

During sexual contact, some people use their fantasies to "turn off" undesirable aspects of an act For example, a woman receiving cunnilingus may shut out thoughts about her body's odours or fluids in order to fantasize about her physical or emotional pleasure. Conversely, a person may use fantasy to focus and maintain arousal, such as a man receiving fellatio ignoring a distraction. Men tend to be aware of only parts of themselves during sex&mdash; they are more likely to focus on the physical stimulation of one area, and as such, do not see themselves as a "whole."

Many couples share their fantasies to feel closer and gain more intimacy and trust, or simply to become more aroused or effect a more powerful physical response. Some couples share fantasies as a form of outercourse; this has been offered as an explanation for the rise of BDSM during the 1980s&mdash; in order to avoid contracting HIV, people turned to BDSM as a safe outlet for sexual fantasy.

Common fantasies
Although fantasies are generally varied, patterns have shown up in demographics, and theories have been developed to explain the results. For example, evolutionary theorists have conjectured that women may be more likely to fantasize about familiar lovers because of the imagery of a protective relationship; however, this suggestion is not consistent with findings of the actual fantasies of married women. Sexual fantasies vary by gender, age, sexual orientation, and society; because of reliance on retrospective recall, response bias and taboo, there is an inherent difficulty in measuring the frequency of types of fantasies. In general, the most common fantasies for men and women are: reliving an exciting sexual experience, imagining sex with a current partner, and imagining sex with a different partner. There is no consistent difference in the popularity of these three categories of fantasies. The next most common fantasies involve oral sex, sex in a romantic location, sexual power or irresistibility, and forced sex.

Social views of sexual fantasy
Social views on sexual fantasy (and sex in general) differ throughout the world. The privacy of a person's fantasy is influenced greatly by social conditions&mdash; due to the taboo status of sexual fantasies in many places around the world, open discussion &mdash; or even acknowledgement &mdash; is forbidden, forcing fantasies to stay private. In more lax conditions, a person may share their fantasies with close friends, significant others, or a group of people with whom the person is comfortable.

Historically, the moral acceptance and formal study of sexual fantasy in Western culture is relatively new. Prior to their acceptance, sexual fantasies were seen as evil or sinful, and they were commonly seen as horrid thoughts planted into the minds of people by "agents of the devil." Even when psychologists were willing to accept and study fantasies, they showed little understanding and went so far as to diagnose sexual fantasies in females as a sign of psychological problems. Prior to the early twentieth century, many experts viewed sexual fantasy (particularly in females) as abnormal. Over several decades, sexual fantasies became more acceptable as notable works and compilations, such as Alfred Kinsey's Kinsey Reports, Erotic Fantasies: A Study of the Sexual Imagination by Drs. Phyllis and Eberhard Kronhausen, and Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, were published.

Despite the Western World's relatively lax attitudes towards sexual fantasy, many people still feel shame and guilt about their fantasies. This type of shame regularly leads to a decline in the quality of a couple's sex life, and an unhappy relationship.